Episode 94 – Dealing with rejection from a graduate job

May 19, 2020 Podcast

Welcome to the 94th episode of the Graduate Job Podcast, the UK’s number 1 careers podcast. Today I take you through the tricky topic of how to deal with rejection when you apply for a graduate job. It’s a topic that you hope you aren’t going to have to deal with, but the simple fact is, at some stage you’re going to get the old ‘thanks but no thanks’ email, and you are going to need to know what to do when it lands through in your inbox. I take you through the 8 stages of dealing with getting rejected from a graduate job, from acknowledging exactly why it hurts, to why you really shouldn’t take it personally. To why you need to step back and be honest with yourself, and how you should go about doing this. I delve into why getting feedback on your performance is so crucial, and just as importantly what you need to then do with that feedback. In this episode I take you step by step through the process from anger and upset at the initial rejection to taking the learning and using it to super charge your graduate job search.

No matter where you are in your jobsearch, if you’ve started applying, or still thinking about which jobs to apply to, if you’ve not had a rejection yet or if you have a stack of them, this is an episode which you aren’t going to want to miss. Now the only link you need to remember from today is www.graduatejobpodcast.com/rejection, as that has all the links to everything which we discuss and a full transcript which you can download, so make sure you head on over there.

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Transcript – Episode 94 – Dealing with Rejection from a Graduate Job

Announcer: Welcome to the Graduate Job Podcast, your home for weekly information and inspiration to help you get the graduate job of your dreams.

James: Hello and welcome to the Graduate Job Podcast, with your host James Curran. The Graduate Job Podcast is your home for all things related to helping you on your journey to finding that amazing job. Each episode I bring together the best minds in the industry, speaking to leading authors, graduate recruiters and career coaches who bring decades of experience into a byte size weekly 30 minute-ish show. Put simply, this is the show I wish I had when I graduated.

Hello and welcome to the 94th episode of the Graduate Job Podcast, the UK’s number 1 careers podcast. Today I take you through the tricky topic of how to deal with rejection when you apply for a graduate job. It’s a topic that you hope you aren’t going to have to deal with, but the simple fact is, at some stage you’re going to get the old ‘thanks but no thanks’ email, and you are going to need to know what to do when it lands through in your inbox. I take you through the 8 stages of dealing with getting rejected from a graduate job, from acknowledging exactly why it hurts, to why you really shouldn’t take it personally. To why you need to step back and be honest with yourself, and how you should go about doing this. I delve into why getting feedback on your performance is so crucial, and just as importantly what you need to then do with that feedback. In this episode I take you step by step through the process from anger and upset at the initial rejection to taking the learning and using it to super charge your graduate job search.

No matter where you are in your jobsearch, if you’ve started applying, or still thinking about which jobs to apply to, if you’ve not had a rejection yet or if you have a stack of them, this is an episode which you aren’t going to want to miss. Now the only link you need to remember from today is www.graduatejobpodcast.com/rejection, as that has all the links to everything which we discuss and a full transcript which you can download, so make sure you head on over there.

Before we start let me tell you about the brilliant course I’m working on cunningly titled “How to get a graduate job”. This course is packed chock full of decades of experience into one step by step guide of everything you need to do to get a graduate job. There are videos, guides, handouts, cheat sheets, example CVs, example covering letters, example answers to those annoying 200-word competency questions, help with telephone interviews, video interviews. Look if you need to know it to get a graduate job it’s in my course. The course is going live in August, but to be the first to hear about it and get it at a never to be repeated price with special bonuses, head to graduatejobpodcast.com/course and leave me your email. Right, on with the show.

1 – Yes it Hurts

So, let’s get into today’s topic of rejection. And the first thing to acknowledge is, that it hurts! ……..There is no getting around the fact that getting rejected from a graduate job is a painful activity, and there are good reasons why this is the case. Studies apparently show that the exact same areas of the brain that are activated when processing the rejection of a graduate job, are also the centre for processing actual, physical pain. That is to say that, neurologically speaking, our brains cannot decipher the difference between being hurt physically and being hurt emotionally. How crazy is that, rejection from a job can hurt you physically! Scientists have made experiments where people were rejected on purpose by total strangers, and person who was rejected, even though they didn’t know the other person was still disappointed. Even when the rejected group of people was informed later that these strangers had been told specifically by the scientists to reject them and it had absolutely nothing to do with who they were, it did nothing to lessen their disappointment. If that’s how you feel with rejection from a stranger, then if you have put in a good application for a graduate job, where you’ve been investing and engaging in a personal, emotional way. Where you have visualised yourself actually doing that job, going to that office every day, saying good morning to those people, who will be colleagues etc. If you have designed and committed to this vision of your future life, it’s no wonder it hurts when you get the email ‘Unfortunately on this occasion we will not be proceeding with your application…’  Or even worse, if they don’t bother to get in touch at all. It is completely natural that you are going to hurt. So even though it hurts, this moves you on to point 2, it’s part of the process.

2 – It’s Part of the Process

It’s a certainty that you’re not going to land every job you apply for. No one does! Rejection happens to everyone, sometimes your CV arrives too late in the day, it’s a fact that everyone fails at a job interview at some point.  Whether you are used to rejection or not, you need to be strong enough to take the knocks and learn from them. Coming to grips with this fact and learning to accept rejection as part of the process will help build your mental and emotional armour. Rejections are an inevitable part of the graduate job hunt process. How you learn from them and move on is what matters. Which takes us to point 3.

3 – Don’t Take it Personally

The key thing is not to take it personally. Don’t use a job interview as a measure of your professional worth. The hiring process at most companies is often difficult to gauge and typically out of your control. So just because you didn’t make it past the interview round or assessment centre, doesn’t mean you’re not well qualified for the job.

For example, while you may think you were turned down because your application wasn’t quite impressive enough or you messed up an interview, in reality the company could have made an internal hire, or gone for the person who did an internship there, or one of the directors kids, or discontinued the job listing altogether, or simply picked another candidate with slightly more relevant experience than you. These are things you cannot change; they’re beyond your control and there is no point worrying about them.

You need to focus instead on the things in your control. You need to realise that every job you don’t get is a lucky escape

Try thinking: “If this employer – having an awareness of the work environment, and knowing exactly what the role entails – feels I wasn’t best suited to this role, then it probably wouldn’t have been a very comfortable fit for me.“ Chances are your skillset was just different to the one they were on the hunt for, in which case you will flourish and enjoy a job somewhere else much more anyway. So yay, now you can go out and find that! So, while you shouldn’t take it personally, you do need some self-reflection.

4 – Be Honest

For step 4 you need to turn the spotlight in on yourself, as it is time to ‘be honest’. How much did you want the graduate job? …yeah, I know that you wanted it, but how much did you want the job, REALLY? Was it the only company you applied to, or was it one of 40 different schemes that were still open for applications?

If your answer still is “I really really badly wanted this specific job”, then you have every reason to be annoyed about being rejected. You also have every reason to find out how you can improve your performance in the future in case another opportunity presents itself.

If your answer is “I really wanted A job”, then maybe this is already your answer as to why you got rejected. Let me tell you about a little personal example. Back when I was applying for a graduate job, I applied to the graduate scheme of one of the big consultancies. I started the long online application wanting to apply for the general management consulting stream that they had available. I went through the application, procrastinated about sending it off and then finally applied near the deadline. I took so long to apply that by the time I did the general management consulting stream I really wanted had been filled up…….but they did have places left in the technological consulting stream, ‘did I want to apply for that one’ they asked. Not really, but I really liked the company and I figured that if I got in, I could then maybe transfer across. I did the competency interview and did well, with the exception that I scored poorly on the questions about why I wanted to work in the technology stream….no surprises there. But I made it through to the assessment centre and thought I could do a better job of blagging why I was really really excited about working in a sector I had no interest in. The last assessment centre was only 2 days later, so I didn’t have much time to practice. I can remember going down on the train and reading through Wikipedia entries about exactly what a CRM system was. I went down and did well in the group exercise, presentation, and competency questions…….but it’s difficult to fake passion in something you have no passion in. The feedback was, I would be a great fit for the company, but not this stream. Thanks, but no thanks. I really wanted a job with the company, they wanted someone who really wanted that job in that stream, and that wasn’t me. Saying that, and going back to point 1, it still hurt like hell getting the rejection, and I was gutted. In retrospect though, as I mentioned in point 3, I’m not sure how much I would have enjoyed working in a stream I knew nothing about and had no passion for, so they were probably doing me a favour. So, point 4, be honest with yourself about your real motivations for applying for the job.

5 – Get it Off your chest

Point 4 was about being internal and point 5 is being external and getting it off your chest. As the old BT advert says, it’s good to talk, and it helps to get the frustrations you are feeling about not getting a graduate job off your chest. Talk to your family, friends, partner or anyone else you’re comfortable talking to about how you feel, and they will be sympathetic. Even better is to get a mentor or coach to talk to as they can keep you track and offer that honest impartiality. I am available for coaching (if I have the slots available, email me at hello@graduatejobpodcast.com to find out or check out the coaching page on the site). Also, check out my episode 63 on mentoring, why they are so important and how to go about getting one. Links in the show notes at www.graduatejobpodcast.com/rejection. The crucial thing though is to stay positive. Don’t spend all your time talking to Debbie downer friends who can’t get a job either as you might just end up wallowing in pity. Wallowing will do you no good. What will do you good is point 6, which is follow up and feedback.

6 – Follow up / Feedback

The crucial thing to remember is, rejection is not feedback – feedback is feedback. Feedback is understandably crucial so that you can learn and improve. However, most employers are reluctant to give out detailed feedback for two reasons: First, they don’t have the time to sit down with every applicant they rejected, because there are simply too many applicants and they would never get anything else done. They would spend their lives feeding back to people and telling them that they need to do a spell check on their applications or to practice numerical tests. Secondly, employers are wary of lengthy discussions or even lawsuits if an applicant feels unfairly rejected. They hold back with feedback because they do not want it used against them. Remarkably few graduates take the proactive step and actively seek out feedback, so if you do, you will be one of the few who does, and you are instantly helping to put yourself ahead of the pack.

The further you got in the process though the more chance there is of getting feedback. If you fell at the online application stage the chances of getting any feedback are slim to none. If you did get past the online application phase, then you have a much higher chance.

So, the challenge is that you want feedback, and they might not want to give it to you. So how do you go about getting it? Well luckily, I have some tips for you.

Tip number 1, it’s best to contact a member of the graduate recruitment team, if possible, rather than one of the individual assessors or interviewers. You should have had the contact details from one of the graduate recruitment team at some stage of the application process, so now is a time to hit them up. Ringing them is best as it is harder for them to say no. Email is the lazy way as they are easy to ignore. If you have a name but no number, ring reception and then ask to be put through if you don’t have a direct dial number. Remember, to just make sure you keep your request polite and professional, and don’t expect too much if the furthest you got was submitting your CV.

When you ask for feedback, be polite and keep the conversation as brief as possible. Listen carefully and don’t be tempted to argue if you disagree with any comments. Remember to say thank you for the feedback, and, if appropriate, for the interview or assessment centre day as well. Don’t forget the key thing is to make lots of notes! Make notes about everything, but especially the aspects of your performance that could be improved and decide what practical steps you need to take to get it right next time.

If you have an inkling about what you could have done better, you could also approach them with your theory. Some employers might find it easier to answer a specific question about a certain part of your application than to review the whole process with you. It also shows that you can reflect about your own capabilities and are, therefore, willing to deal with feedback. If you get the impression from the feedback that it was a very near miss, you can always ask the recruiter to keep you posted if people they make offers to drop out further down the line.

Feedback can be the one thing that takes you from being an unemployed graduate to a young professional within two interviews, so try your best to get a response from your interviewer.

 7 –Analyse your Performance (honestly)

Getting feedback then takes us on stage 7. Take the feedback you have received and do some honest analysis of yourself and your performance. Feedback is a gift if you use it and learn from it. So, stage 7 is to analyse your performance, honestly.

DISCLAIMER: Because we haven’t got all day, the following advice assumes you’re a smart candidate, that your CV or graduate application is clear, concise and typo-free and that you’re not doing anything weird like making jokes in your online application form or putting down letsgetlashed@gmail.com as your contact address.

So, that out of the way, until you land a job, you should constantly be asking yourself “What could I be doing differently that might yield better results?” There is always more you can do to increase your chances. Accept this and you free yourself to start trying new, more effective strategies – and stop repeating the mistakes that were wasting your time and energy.

Take some time to reflect. Are the roles you are going for right for you? Do they fit your skill set, your work experience or your academic achievements? You should see this analysis process as a great opportunity – If keep learning and getting better then you will get there in the end.

While rejection can be awful, it can also be a great opportunity. It gives you a chance to re-assess and develop, meaning your next interview will be better than the last. The main thing is to see the positive side and to not let it get you down or put you off applying for more graduate jobs.

Why? Because the most effective way for graduates to bounce back from rejection is to take charge and take action. The smartest graduates use rejection to gather clues about how to make their job hunt even more effective – thereby increasing their chances of not being rejected next time.

Think about where in the process it was that you fell down? The initial application, online tests, telephone interview, assessment centre, as different stages will have different reasons.

Did you get past the online application or CV phase? If not, then be honest in thinking about if you really did enough research on the company? Graduates often panic and think sending off more applications across more companies and more industries equals a higher chance of getting a job, right? Wrong. First, if you’re firing off dozens of applications, you probably aren’t doing any properly. Employers know a ‘scattergun’ candidate when they see one. Secondly, if you’re applying for jobs across several different industries, you won’t benefit from the full effects of accumulating deeper understanding with every application you write (and every interview you attend). Picking one industry and becoming an expert in it usually leads to better results than spreading yourself too thin. Did you answer the questions which were asked, or the questions which you already had an answer for? Were your answers cut and pasted from an application from a different company? Did you know the company values? Did it have any spelling mistakes in it? Did it fully use the word count? Did you get the application in well before the closing deadline? Did you have the right skills? In last week’s episode on DS Smith, the recruitment manager said the main reason 70% of CVs didn’t get passed the first stage was that they didn’t have the language skills they were looking for. They wanted people who were fluent, and people who only had GCSE language skills were applying, so were rejected straight away. If you can say hand on heart you passed all of the points above, then you could just be unlucky, but I think that you may need to look again harder.

Now if you failed at the online tests stage then this is an easy one. Practice! This is the proverbial school boy error that so many people fail at. Stop being so tight and pay the £20-30 to get access to some proper tests. Check out the show notes graduatejobpodcast/rejection where I link to my episodes on the topic of online testing and the 3 companies you need to be practicing with. Practice and keep practicing till you are getting the answers correct, it’s as easy as that. Forget scrabbling around on the internet for free resources, stop being tight and get your wallet out.

If you failed at the interview stage, think about both your preparation or your delivery. For your preparation, again did you know about the company and its values. Did you know in advance the type of questions that you were going to be asked, i.e. competency questions, skills-based questions etc. Did you have a big collection of ready and prepared answers each carefully crafted into the STAR format? Were these answers a mix from different examples of university, work experience, sporting, volunteering etc., showing how well rounded you are as a person, or did you only talk about your course at university?

Or was it the delivery? Were you in a calm relaxed and quiet place for the interview? Did you go in in a relaxed frame of mind and were positive and enthusiastic throughout the interview? Were your answers calmly delivered or rushed with you being flustered? Did you talk to fast, mumble and not use the STAR methodology? Did you get stumped by some questions and not know what to say? Did you not answer some of the questions? Did you not practice for a Skype video interview and didn’t know what to expect?

Now if you fell on the preparation stage then you need to put lots more work and effort in. If it’s the latter, then again you need to practice your delivery. Get a coach (give me a shout) where you can go through practice interviews or utilise your careers service at university who often run mock sessions. Alternatively get a friend to ask you questions and record yourself on the phone. Either way it is all about practice and knowing where your weaknesses are so that you can improve them.

Finally, did you fail at the assessment centre. If you have followed the feedback steps earlier, you should have some detailed feedback from the recruitment team. If it was the interview that let you down, then focus on the comments on interviews above. If it was the group exercise was it because you were talking too much and over people, or not getting involved at all. Was it the presentation which let you down? Again, check out the show notes where I have links to episodes and videos, I have created to help with both of these issues. If you have issues speaking in public, then the key is to practice. Practice speaking in front of people if you aren’t very confident. Try first in front of one family member or friend, then keep building it up until you have more confidence. Try a group like toastmasters https://www.toastmasters.org/find-a-club where you can learn public speaking skills. It is just that though, a skill, something which you can develop and get better at over time, the key thing is practice.

If you fell down like me in my earlier example due to the fact that your passion and interest in the role isn’t there, then have a think about what you really are interested in and what is going to get you excited. Listen to my episodes with Scott Mautz, John Lees and Colby Jubenville for how to find your passion, links in the show notes. It doesn’t matter which stage you fell down, thinking about your past performance will help you to improve your future performance.

8 – Stay Positive

So, I’ve given you lots of advice thus far from points 1 through to 7, and we have reached point 8 which is one of the most important….Stay Positive.

It can be really difficult to keep plugging away when you feel like you are getting nowhere, but you need to view the graduate job hunt as an overall process. Try and take something positive from each rejection to make the next application you send off even better.

The ability to handle rejection well is a skill that will help you throughout life. Developing an ability to learn from setbacks is something which will help you in no matter what you go on to do.

Don’t give up, come on, you’ve got this. If other people can get a graduate job, you can too. Resilience takes character, and learning to cope with rejection builds on that. Staying focused on positives (such as good feedback) instead of wallowing in negative vibes will eventually mould you into a more balanced, confident human being in all aspects of life.

I know it’s easier said than done to stay positive, so here are a couple of practical things to help you. Number 1 – read the brilliant book ‘Mindset’ by Carol Dweck. This book delves into the idea of the growth mindset and how if you utilise that you can build on failure and setbacks, such as rejection in a graduate job, links to the book in the show notes at https://www.graduatejobpodcast.com/rejection/. It is a very highly recommended read. The second practical pointer if you’re feeling like a failure is to develop a list of “bragging rights.” Keep a log all your accomplishments and contributions and develop key stories about times when you overcome an obstacle in the past. These can be anything, from how you passed your driving test first time, to getting a great mark on a piece of course work, to when you aced an interview to get a part time job, or dealt with conflict well in a group exercise at university, being made captain of a football team, giving a great performance in the school play, getting a first for a dissertation in a notoriously difficult topic….. It doesn’t matter what they are, if they might seem trivial to anyone else, as they are just for you. By recognizing your strengths and your ability to succeed in the face of challenge, this simple exercise can instantly shift you from down in the dumps to psyched up. As a bonus they are a useful tool for answering questions at your next interview.

To some up I’ll finish with some excellent advice from the brilliant Scott Mautz who I interviewed back in episode 74 (check it out if you haven’t listened already). There are only three ways to fail; when you quit, when you don’t improve and when you don’t try. If you keep working hard and keep improving, you will always get there in the end.

So there you go, my take on dealing with graduate job rejection, make sure you check out the show notes at https://www.graduatejobpodcast.com/rejection. I will include links to all the books and episodes I mentioned across the episode. Now no matter where you are on your job search, I have an episode that can help, I have 93 other episodes covering every aspect of getting a graduate job, so no matter what stage you are at, I have something for you.

And finally, one very special thing to tell you about. If you are thinking of applying for a graduate job, then boy do I have something for you. I’m distilling down all my years of job search knowledge into one brilliant online course, cunningly call. ‘How to Get a Graduate Job’. This is going to tell you everything you need to do to get a graduate job, Now the course is still being worked, but if you want to be the first to find out about it and also to get it at a special discount never to be repeated price including some amazing special offers, head on over to https://www.graduatejobpodcast.com/course and leave your email. It’s a brilliant course which will take you through every step of getting a graduate job and it will save you years of frustrations and rejection, so head on over to https://www.graduatejobpodcast.com/course to find out more. That is everything from me, let me know if you liked the episode today. I hope you enjoyed it, but more importantly, I hope that you use it and apply it. See you next time.